Why Dogs are the Worst

Dog; man’s best friend or selfish, loud, destructive smelly and sycophantic demon?

Hence, loathèd Melancholy, Of Cerberus and blackest Midnight born, In Stygian cave forlorn, 'Mongst horrid shapes, and shrieks, and sights unholy. - John Milton, Paradise Lost

“Man’s best friend” the canine is one of the worst companions a person could ask for and in more recent years has come to stain the household of every variety from the yuppy liberal to the lowly Yarger. And sadly now our subsequent generations are being replaced by these undeserving mutts (especially for career-enslaved young women thanks to feminism) offering themselves as a substitute for the continuation of our species.

The following are some general features and characteristics most dogs exhibit which I will endeavour to capture by way of cursory comments and descriptions dedicated to every one of their foibles. In this article, I will demonstrate why dogs are awful pets and what reasons there are for hating them as much as I justifiably do.

With that said I anticipate the mandatory and oft-cited response from nearly ALL dog worshippers I levy these charges against, “It’s only dogs that are untrained that behave like this… not my Foofy!”

As a slight aside and in response to this view all I have to say is that in every encounter and experience I have had with these animals none of them has ever been able to avoid drooling and begging for food, jumping on me or nudging me with their slimy noses, while never ceasing to bark, or finally being able to walk themselves and pick up their feces. It doesn’t matter how much you train them, sorry.

Finally, these bewildered dog owners might object to my hatred and in horror ask, “But how can you hate dogs? What’s so bad about them? There must be something wrong with a person who hates dogs like you! What kind of person are you?” etc. 

In response to this question and charge here are my reasons.

Dogs Stink

First and foremost, the worst of dogs reek of wet rags and exude a putrid stench unique to their special breed of subservient beast and at best they smell like filthy animals who unlike cats do not clean themselves unless you count plunging into a cesspool of mud, dirt or creek sludge replete with refuse and landfill juices as grooming.

There are obvious degrees and a level of severity in terms of the wretched smell dogs besiege the nose with, but even the best of them have a distinct scent that everyone picks up, especially after petting them. Be it the mutt’s breath (hence the insult you smell like dog breath) or their dungheaps, all dogs smell it’s just a question of degree.

With that said I must qualify this observation by explaining that although other wild or farm animals such as pigs, sheep or cattle produce their own set of offensive odours sometimes far worse than dogs, it must be noted that none of them live in one's home and ooze their rancid animal residue all over one's house and clothes because farmers are sensible enough to relegate them to a sty or barn. 

Most civilized cultures have learned to keep their livestock and varmints outside where they belong and do not welcome dirty, stinky creatures into their beds. This is why dogs are one of the worst pets in terms of stinkiness, it's because they are domestically ubiquitous and rub off on people before they go to work, school or out in public.

I also find it amusing that today’s dog-lover has less sense than a primitive savage from the Paleolithic days before the invention of agricultural settlement. But hey, that’s just me.

Nonetheless, dogs exhibit a rancid stench and odious musky sort of foulness that leaves an indelible trail of stink by assailing all nostrils with the unmistakable trademark of quadrupedal repugnance.

Even the best-smelling pooches nevertheless have a distinct odour which blesses even the most elegant, clean, and affluent of households. Immediately one is seized by it and offended by its tinge enveloping every piece of furniture or object in the abode with the scent of fresh asshole dosed in an ocean of ballsack sliminess.

The household smell of dogs reeks of something dirty, soiled, and in some cases fecal. No matter what, everyone and I mean everyone who walks into a home OWNED by a dog secretly acknowledges this irrepressible stink and only can withstand said reek if they partake in the crime of condoning these creatures too.

Worst of all is a wet dog which competes and nearly overtakes the scent of wet rags, rotting carcass, and or soiled diapers. Although it must be stressed, even though it is equally as rancid as those prior comparisons it nevertheless has a very signature smell that has become a category of disgust all of its own which is often used to describe different awful smells of foulness as a reference point for other lesser but similar reeks by which to be compared.

Not least is the odour of their runny and lumpy shit, or piddling pools of piss that sometimes graces one’s floor after a long ten-hour day at work. Dogs more often than admitted stink up the place by fouling the floor with their feces or urine, because God forbid you to have a social life apart from catering to every demand of the dog. Better still having to work for a living results in an absence of vigilance over the animal's bowel habits. 

A final note on the matter of stink, EVERYONE CAN SMELL IT EXCEPT YOU! Just as most “sensible” and “cultured” people condemn cigarette smoking and often revile the awful smell it coats the smoker and their homes with, so too does your beloved mutt envelope you with a miasmal odour of repulsiveness. 

Dogs smell just as bad if not worse than smokers and the only reason why no one says anything is either because they too smell like wet dog shit or that they are too courteous to mention anything lest they be castigated by the cult of canine.

At least a smoker gets a slight rush of euphoria from their smokes and therefore the smell is accepted as a consequence whereas smelling like actual shit or wet dog has no benefit or bright side to speak of other than an indication of one's enslavement to their pet’s bowel habits.

Noise

If it's not their repellent stench then it’s their irrepressible capacity to disturb, disquiet and destroy the silence and sanctity of any situation with a loud abrasive bark.

Until the hellhound achieves the desired effect of desecrating peace and making it impossible to hear anything other than its disparate whining no silence can be had. The dog selfishly bombards one with barks that drown out discourse and demand the cessation of any conversation, pleasant moment or focus.

Whether it's listening to the sublime serenades of Schuberts Trio e flat, and of course the unfinished symphony no. 8; or from reading the historical pages of Plutarch in the solemnity of study and contemplation, a dog will disturb all tranquillity and refuse to permit any such indulgence in self-reflection or the appreciation of art.

Why salvage the soul with study and art when you can become enslaved to some unappreciative beast that wrecks your furniture, requires you to pick up its shit, stinks and barks to the point of destroying any hope at peace?

The only means by which to achieve this feat of enjoying music, reading or thinking straight is to exert one's whole being to entertain, pick the shit up from, walk, feed or entertain the ungrateful mutt whose only solace comes from you forever servicing its needs without ever growing, learning or giving back what it has taken.

Only after every ounce of yourself is used up in the morning can a mug of coffee be imbibed and the pages turned from a book before rushing off to meet life's challenges (indirectly dog related of course) that are all the more difficult when your home becomes another burden that there becomes no escape from.

A dog will growl, moan, weep and yelp whenever you eat as it imploringly begs for a morsel or a scrap of crud falling from your sandwich. Worst is the residue of dripping slime on the ground below your feet which trickles down from the dog's tongue-soaked secretions.

This drool is also combined with the leftover moisture formerly saturating their dangling balls which they “lovingly” smudge on your skin as they uninvitedly nussle you with snotty mucus and nostril goop as they weep for your food and lick themselves in anticipation of that one moment you are weak enough to relent. All the while whimpering and wheezing like a slovenly imp which irks me to no end.

The sounds uttered by hungering dogs are the most degrading, lowly and demeaning of all their grunts and noises I encounter. For it is their wails of supplication that exceed all other forms of humiliation in terms of their wretchedness and grovelling that strikes me as more embarrassing than that of a homeless drug addict begging for another hit of Crack on some forlorn street corner. 

The whimpering and begging are so deplorable and ingratiating as to make one either sympathetic or sick. Mostly though it’s because of how shameless and pathetic a creature has to be which regardless of having its food needs to pout and eke out its incessant grovelling noises to get what belongs to you for no other reason than greed and Epircuran rapacity.

Now, one might counter that this is because the dog is just a stupid animal, and that they can’t help but be the submissive, beseeching leechers that moan like scared, pathetic little parasites begging shamelessly for more.

Mind you, our standard dog-lover would not compose their retort in the highly accurate manner yours truly has taken artistic liberty to frame, but the sentiment is nonetheless the same and the hypothetical response is thus noted.

I would counter that cats in contrast do not behave in this manner, nor do birds or even hamsters for that matter. If a hamster can manage itself contentedly on its little wheel and a small bowl of whatever the fuck it eats without causing more than a squeak here and there what does that say about your choice of pets?

A hamster by comparison is a marquis of civility and standard of refinement that the slovenly canine would benefit learning from and behaving like I dare say!

Barking

In terms of the subject of noise, barking is especially vexing. These hellhounds produce nothing worse than the constant barking at anything and everything from friends to foes, insects to shadows, without rhyme or reason.

One cannot hear oneself think let alone converse with a cohort while the raging roar of a dog’s bark drowns out all discourse and exchanges. The bark is a relentless siren that requires everything to be stopped, forgotten or put down at once to address the little demon and find out what or who satan’s minion is yapping at.

I even had the unfortunate experience of having this little Shih-Tzu demon (how appropriate that what is pronounced as shit is the suffix) follow me to my mistress's chamber as the evil moustached imp of a dog would dash and chase after us barking only to stand guard at the door, sniffing, grunting and yapping until it stopped us.

Try getting an erection when you can visualize and hear the little bloodhound’s scrunched ugly face as it exercises every effort to prevent you from the simple joy of bagging your dame by drowning out any moan of pleasure with that of an insolent, irritable bark trumpeting anon.

It never stops until you have been completely arrested by the incessant demand that whatever is disturbing the dog (which is everything and anything) is met and dealt with accordingly. In most cases, this occurs when anyone knocks on the door and the stupid mutt growls and roars and never shuts the fuck up causing chaos, mayhem and disorder.

What was once a harmonious moment of Bach’s cello suites soothing the soul turns into a riot of disorder and frenzy with a siege of sound raiding the fortress of one's inner sense of solitude.

“Stop the presses!” Emergency! Red alert! Someone is at the door!” Immediately whatever you were watching, thinking or discussing is interrupted by the owner, as she screams even louder than her beast, “Stop little Rover!” the owner repeats, excusing herself from important matters as she attempts to hold the dog back, yanks his collar and presses upon his dumb mutt head as he stammers to squeeze it out the crack of the opened door.

All the while barking louder, waking up the neighbours or baby sleeping only to maliciously rebuke the “intruder” who regardless of their status or familiarity is initially met with the same vocal warfare every time they come over. And of course, our dearest dog lovers will rebut, “It’s only those Sparky doesn’t know, he’s just protecting me.”

To which, I reply, “Protecting you from what? The mail!?”

Or is your mom dropping off baked goods again? Or let me guess, the chaos might be your pesky husband or wife coming home again at the same time they always do. You would think with guests coming to and fro in the course of the miserable animal's wretched existence that eventually some familiarity or indifference would come about on the part of the deplorable creature that has nothing better to do than to “protect” you by barking at its owners and their friends.

Also if you want protection buy a gun. Perhaps if these dog owners were more concerned with safety they would not scoff at, mock and deride those who use the same (legitimate) argument to purchase firearms. But they don’t care about protection they just need a companion that requires no deep spiritual or intellectual commitment as well as serving as an accessory prop for photos on social media.

Furthermore, if the dog is owned for safety or utilitarian purposes why is it not trained like guard dogs at lumber yards, or kept permanently outside to stand to watch? This excuse that the dog is used as some sort of barricade and defence is especially laughable when the majority of these runty chihuahuas fit into pink glitter-encrusted purses.

Instead, the dog is warmingly invited into the bedroom with its mud and sod-covered paws and testicle-reused salvia to saturate your face as it hops into the spot of your bed that should be reserved for a husband.

Again, a vast majority of these “protective guardians” are these weaselly, cowardly and anemic rat-like dogs that lack the fortitude to confront a cat let alone a burglar as they whimper and cower from everything, especially a violent intruder.

If this unrelenting noisy barking behaviour is acceptable, I submit that we should be able to blast death metal in random intervals to add further unwanted noise to this orchestra of annoyance.

Or why not just yell and scream uncontrollably at birds, television sets or people we see every day as they brush past us? Oh wait, I know why because we condemn this kind of behaviour for being exasperating, insulting and offensive to civility. 

I also find it odd that we scorn our neighbours for being too loud or even condemn and comment on the crying of a baby at a restaurant (which by the way is a human life, not some slavish reeking beast) yet these dog worshippers afford the mutt more leeway and patience then they do the infants of our human race.

Not to mention that eventually babies grow up and stop crying in public whereas dogs never outgrow their uncontrollable impulses to cause disorder through noise (and many more vices) and proceed to infiltrate the sanctity of one's sanity with their growls.

Finally, more vexing sometimes than the stupid animal barking is the shouting and screaming from the owner as they issue commands to a wayward imbecilic brute as it jumps all over the guest or defecates on the floor, and tears apart one's shoes with “Stop Spot! Down boy! Come back now Sparky! No Rover stop. Come now!” 

Then as the owners stammer to control their beast they profusely apologize as you try to sneak a word in, comment on the news or even compliment your companion, “Sorry, just hold on a moment…” she will say as the animal barks a symphony that would put Richard Wagner’s baritones to shame.

“One more moment,” she pleads. “Stop Sparky, down! No, don’t eat or bite that. Sorry, hold on one more second. I can’t hear you, what? Speak louder… Please one more sec, if you will, just let me deal with this first. Hold on to that thought will you?” 

WOOF WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF!

By the time the dog is put at ease or stops barking whatever romantic gesture, grand intellectual revelation or witty remark you might have had has been eradicated by the rapacious hellhound that contentedly bestrides itself triumphantly in having absorbed all the attention of the universe towards its irrational needs, until the next moment when a squirrel should dare scuttle past or a shadow be cast against a wall God forbid…

Dogs compared to children: replacing the human race

Some might object that children also require this level of cleanup, attention and dealing with in terms of their noisiness or destructive behaviours. These dog owners might argue that a dog if anything is less revolting to clean up after than a soiled, saucy diaper of freshly leaked poop.

By comparison, however burdensome potty training a child might be there is the knowledge that eventually your kid will learn to take care of their own business with time and that if you are lucky your children might one day do the same for you. Ultimately, a child is only an infant for a short while while a dog remains infantile all its wretched days.

Finally, unlike a child though, a dog does not know or care nor will it ever acknowledge the sacrifices you make other than by leaving you an offering splurge of turd every so often just to remind you how very special they are and how lucky you are as the caretaker of this creature. With glee and expectation, the hound gazes over at you as it spews its fecal filth and subsequent rancid stench as if to say, “Come now human, clean it up.”

Often it is said half-jokingly that owning a dog is like rearing a child. My response is no, it’s not like having a child, it’s worse and more demanding because it's useless, demeaning and redundant whereas a child perpetuates the human race and makes civilization possible. Who else will manufacture your first-world gourmet dog treats other than the “useless eaters” in sweatshop labour camps in Bangladesh? See, don’t be silly, we need more people!

The mutt by contrast does nothing but take from the world giving back only feces in parks for joggers to step in (more will be said on this later, trust me). With that said, many dog owners might entertain the opposite idea and say “Good, humans are bad and who cares anyway, I’d rather have my dog than a child.” 

All I have to say is that you as an owner that thinks in this manner are anti-human and by extension satanic in your loathing towards your species in favour of a dirty, impudent animal that wouldn’t think twice about neglecting your species so long as a steak was dangled in front of its greedy face.

How unique in the history of evolution is it that a person would forgo their natural reproductive self-interest to perpetuate the species in favour of another less evolved one? 

As far as I can tell we as humans are the only creature in God’s kingdom that both self-castrates (or allows teachers to convince our children to do so) as well as exchange our birthright for that of dogs. There is no better example of this than today’s “dog moms.”

On a side note, you “dog moms” who would cherish the belly of a beast before your species is a deplorable sign of our troubled times and indicates just how low and perverse the human race has descended that by contrast, no other animal in nature exhibits this same machoism. This is proven by the fact that all of “Darwin’s” creatures according to the doctrine of secularism should be driven by the need to proliferate of their race. 

The Sacrifice of Time and Effort for Dogs

One of the worst parts of having a dog or knowing someone who does have one is the time that is allotted to these insolent demons. Like a Faustian bargain with Beezlebub, once a person chooses to own a dog, the dog in the long run ends up owning their soul and all for the delusion of bliss which dissipates once the owner discovers they have signed over their eternal freedom.

Many a friendship has been interrupted or neglected because of an owner buying a dog and in some cases, it takes the death of the canine mongrel brute for them to call upon their human companions again. “Sorry I have been ignoring you these past few years, you know what being a dog mom is like!”

Dog owners are enslaved by the calender of their mutts and must organize their lives following the beast's selfish needs. Never can a dog owner go out and enjoy a night on the town without rejoining, “Oh but I can’t stay out late because I have to…” walk, feed, entertain, clean up after or attend to every whim of the dog.

These creatures can’t be left alone. Lest the demon destroys the house or pisses and shits on the floor. The dog sets the curfew and forces the evening to comply with its needs. Many a time people will become entirely antisocial because they can’t find a sitter or other slave to walk their animal around and scoop up their shit.

Nothing is more belittingly and disrespectful to friends and families to forsake contact because of one's dumb mutt. The fact that dog owners have to seek permission from their beasts to go out to the bar, a bridal shower, or any party for that matter is utterly humiliating.

Not only does the dog ruin and interfere with the owner's basic liberty and ability to follow their desires and wishes but as mentioned before it also negatively affects relationships with others. This is either because the dog owner can’t come out, needs to bring their stupid animal with them or finally has to pay exorbitantly for someone else to profligate themselves to the ingrate and keep it fed or entertained.

Be it a family reunion where loved ones have not seen each other for years, or a birthday party (and even sometimes a wedding) the dog owner will excuse themselves if they can’t satisfy their animal's needs.

Often friends will be out having a mirthful time carousing at restaurants or music events before having to abruptly conclude the engagement to frantically scurry home because little Rover hasn’t had his walk yet or God forbid has been alone and not entertained for the last several hours. 

The fact that a dog owner NEEDS to first solve the issue of looking after their mutt before going on a short weekend vacation to the cottage illustrates the hierarchy of value and priority a dog owner will place on their beasts.

That one is required to spend time and money and organization just to be able to visit friends or family overnight (unnecessarily and voluntarily) proves that the animal is the master of the home and that the owner is the mere servant to its overarching necessities.

The dedication, devotion and unrelenting sacrifices necessary to enable these demons to continue with their wanton lusts and fervent consumption has no parallel in terms of our relationship with other animals in modern society.

The only other example of such undying attention or consideration towards grooming, paying attention to or altering their schedule for animals would be that of horses at a time when the horse was the only form of transportation and served in an economical capacity. But even then one would often find owners lashing their horses for not scooting them along fast enough. 

The only other exception to this rule would be the mad Roman Emperor Caligula’s horse Incitatus who he made Consul which is not a far cry from how dog owners behave these days.

Therefore the love, care and consideration placed on a helpful animal are something that makes sense, especially for farmers and those who rely on animals and therefore render them respect for their services. However, when compared to some runty piece of shit that smells, is dirty and does nothing but suck every resource and moment of your time into an infinite abyss of loss and self-sacrifice it goes beyond comprehension.

Who is the slave and who is the master? Who owns whom? The fact that one becomes bound and shackled to the demands of a selfish animal is so humiliating and indicative of the lack of standards and dignity dog owners possess that it fills me with disgust and almost causes me to relent maybe the human race is inferior to animals who at the very least have no impulse toward self-humiliation and immolation.

In some cases, dog owners put more time and attention into satiating the needs of their mutts than their spouses, who in today’s day in age must compete with these wretched animals for their woman's attention. Next time you are fighting with your spouse ask them who they prefer more you or the dog and see what they say.

Money and Costs Associated with the Little Devils

In most cases, because people work for a living and can’t devote every waking moment of their lives to their dogs (which I am certain most owners wish they could) they will feel obliged to hire a dog walker/dog-sitter.

These “esteemed” professions are quite in vogue nowadays for wine-tootling aged liberal white women who in their retirement from never having to work for a living decide to make their contribution to the world by walking other people's dogs. 

It is not always these types but in my personal experience I have encountered several, but the majority are those die-hard zealot dog lovers who usually supplement their religious subservience to the canine cult by making offerings by walking or watching dogs on the side. I am also quite certain most would be glad to take up this gruelling responsibility irrespective of payment but for the ones that do accept a fee the price is obscenely exorbitant and unjustified. 

Many a dog owner will gladly divest themselves of money and place in this sinking hole endless funds to the tune of several hundred dollars or even thousands, sometimes a day. By the end of the month, the expense to own and monitor the destructive little devils, feed them, walk them and clean up their shit would be equal to paying double one’s rent or the equivalent of daycare. 

However, it should be added that the price of walking or sitting alone is always combined with the other daily tithes and dues to provide for the animal's food, toys, and vet bills and as mentioned just now for sitters/walkers thus rendering the ownership of the mutt as costing more than operating a car, having a heroin addiction, or perhaps in some yuppy Leftist cases even a mortgage.

I have even had the horror of observing a servile family of eunuchs purchase their canine actual top-grade raw meat (steaks, tenderloin etc.) purchased from a special and choice butcher, where it was then packaged and sent to their doorstep.

They resided in Rosedale surprise, surprise, (a highfaluting area of Toronto for all you non-locals) and so it is a matter of course that the dogs that rule the neighbourhood there should all be fed better than starving children in Romania or those who shop at the dollar store for Chef Boyardee. 

The irony is that those who esteem themselves as progressive, socially conscientious and driven by a desire to achieve equity manage to overlook the fact that they give away more money, love and support to their stupid animals rather than their fellow humans.

But that goes without saying, humans are bad for the environment and the world is overpopulated according to these Satanists so why not stop having children and instead worship Anubis?

Personality and Vacuous Exchanges with Dog Owners

Another example of the all-consuming attention these animals elicit is the vapid exchanges that take place among fellow dog owners, or even victims that don’t own one but who are nevertheless drawn into a trite discussion about their dumb animals. 

People never shut the fuck up about the endless antics habits and behaviours of their dogs. They speak of them with such reverence and awe as if it were a child who spoke its first word, but rather, they extend this to an animal that licks its asshole and balls only to then share its dick or hairy vaginal juices with its owner by giving them sweet kisses.

“My little Foofy sometimes comes into my bed and wakes me up at 6:00 am, it’s so cute!”

To which the other moron bonehead owner retorts, “Riiiiiiiiggggghhht. Mine too! Oh my God, I love when Shnookums pouts for treats but if I don’t give it to him he’ll tear my couch apart so I have to be quick!”

Another comment they might bombard one with could be, “We cuddle in bed all the time, that's why I don’t get lonely at night. Who needs man riiiiiiiggghhhht?!!”

Or finally, “I love it when he gives me licks on the mouth, we always kiss.” 

Disgusting! 

And the WORST is when they show you pictures or videos of these slovenly, uncouth, creatures doing something so fucking stupid, uninteresting and insignificant that they implore you to watch.

The dog makes an unremarkable face or gesture and expects you to remark, laugh or find it enthralling. Just as excruciating is when it's trained to perform some cheap trick less amusing than watching drying paint as you gaze in perplexity marvelling at which animal is worse, the hairy imp scratching its balls or the fucking moron recording it.

On and on conversations of this sort will flow as these inanities and asinine comments and remarks are made. Rather than discuss personal, familial and social relations with one of their fellow humans these dog owners will instead squander their ability to grow in intimate relationships for the sake of commentary on their dog's shitting habits.

Often the types who engage in these dog conversations are fat, ugly and lonely people who have no redeeming features, intellects or values that this is the only means by which to relate to others. That or discussing their cellphone plans and providers.

And nothing is more exasperating than witnessing these encounters in dog parks or in areas in which dog walkers can commiserate. Wherein they stop at each dog owner and discuss their beasts as though they were fellow family members and friends in the most convivial manner.

“How is Rex doing? Is his paw okay from last week?”

To which the fellow cretin replies, “Yes! He is doing fine, we took him to see Dr. Goldberg last week and it only cost us $15,000 to mend his wound.”

“Oh is that all? Bowsers was a hefty sum too, not small like yours,” the instigating dog owner responds.

But when it comes to each other the dog owners are impersonal, indifferent and disinterested. They exhibit this fake annoying need to tolerate one another just insofar as they can find an opportunity to talk about Little Rover's recent vet bill as indicated by my example.

Young Marriageable Women in their Childbearing Years and Their Dogs

Dog-owning women seem to be plagued by this allure to forego marriage or children and instead shift their material instincts toward dogs. With the complications of our modern world and its hyperinflation and feminist-driven corporately encouraged servitude, many women can neither afford the responsibility of a child in their youthful years nor find the time necessary to continue the human race.

Therefore one will often observe (especially on dating sites) that young attractive women almost universally will have photos of them obsessing and fawning over some yappy piece of shit dog smothered with kisses normally reserved for children. Unlike the days when women sent photos to friends of their kids today, you can expect the dog takes precedence.

These dating sites will also include eligible young ladies exerting all the compassion, care and love towards their varmints while calling themselves “dog moms” or demanding that their suitors also appreciate their yappy runts.

The fact that almost every picture of a 20-something-year-old young lady features a dog is worth acknowledging, let alone investigating at the very least. And when these women do have a child often the dog is held right beside them in the photo nestled on equal terms into the bosom of the mom (or worse dad).

Methinks the maternal instinct is irrepressible in women, even those brainless enough to sacrifice their wombs to the dogs. Despite how horrendously the Leftists have destroyed the economy and encouraged women to forego their nature to serve their corporate overlords it still follows that this surplus of affection and desire to care finds a surrogate outlet somewhere, so why not dogs?

Being a mother was once a right of passage and stage in human development which our society used to cherish and embrace but now has neglected and left quite literally to the dogs. Thus, the mongrel has become the accidental beneficiary of all the love, ardour, time, compassion and showering of gifts once reserved for humanity.

Sadly our marriageable young maidens are satisfied with their dogs, sorry fellows better turn gay!

Perhaps if our society provided incentives to have children and stopped printing money for several years due to a flu with a less than 1% mortality rate for example, then women could afford to stay home and bestow this love on their flesh and blood rather than some repellent, drooling, barking burden.

Or better still, maybe if we cared about rearing our children by staying at home and raising them we wouldn’t need to replace our species with dogs (thanks again feminism).

The tradition and practice of a maternal provider being able to induct their child into life through love, care and wisdom is not an oppressive system orchestrated by some evil patriarchy, but rather a compassionate partnership that is a part of the fabric of humanity and only in this dystopian day and age has everything traditional or functional been inverted.

“Dictitat … nihil esse tam sanctum quod non violari … possit,” i.e., “he asserts that … nothing is so sacred that it can not be violated” (Cicero, In Verrem I. 2).

Canine selfishness

More than anything a dog is a greedy varmint that is subsumed by wants and needs and is never able to stop begging and imploring until gets its fill. A dog will eat itself to death because it is an irrational creature that's driven solely by the satiation of an unquenchable yearning for everything you have or can offer.

They will shamelessly whimper, drool and pout staring at you as you eat sulking for a little crumb. There can be no peace when eating dinner with the dog around which like a vulture and lecherous parasite will follow you around until it obtains its petty morsel of half-chewed bone or what have you.

A dog will not care if and when it needs to shit or piss if you don’t cater to its immediate needs then prepare for the consequences. Nor will the animal forgive you for not entertaining it constantly, the result being loud annoying barking until you pay attention to the demon, pet it or wrestle some slimy chewed-up tennis ball drenched in goop.

Finally, the useless quadruped does not care if you are tired, hungry or peeved because its wants and needs supersede yours and if you dare challenge the stupid mutt you will lose because it has nothing better to do than constantly annoy you.

For example, the brutish creature will bark endlessly as you converse, watch television or do anything that isn’t entirely devoted to giving in to the beast. Until you shout, react, punish or reward this selfish hound it will not stop and in many cases will destroy something or punish you with its urine and feces. Nothing matters other than what the dog wants and you must oblige it or face and confront the issue.

Dogs are greedy, self-satisfying and solely given to their desires and those alone. You cannot reason with its sexual or hunger impulses, you can’t prevent it from grumbling, slobbering or attacking small defenceless animals. This is the creature’s nature which you have chosen to enthrone as an Idol to worship like good ol’ Moloch from the bygone days.

The best one can do is punish, reprimand, threaten and restrain the dog but it never truly appreciates the severity of the crime it committed or the mess it makes. The only thing the dog knows is that it might get in trouble with its owner if he pisses on the couch again; not that the furniture was given to you by a dead grandma as an heirloom.

The hound does not care, know, or respect what you own and work for or why you give to it. All it wants is more and if you for one moment decide to leave food out on the table or fail to take the dog for its needed walk or shit then it will defecate and urinate all over your carpets and destroy your house and devour that roast turkey, strings and all.

This is the behaviour of a brute or savage, not a “member of the family” to be regarded as a fellow human being. Dogs are animals and therefore by nature hedonistic, self-seeking creatures who if the roles were reversed would not and cannot afford you the same courtesies. The only reason you get devotion from these slaves is because you feed them and if you stopped doing so the dog would likely try to eat you.

Health issues and veterinarian bills

Another major distraction and example of a dog's infinite needs are the various and never-ending health afflictions that they suffer from. This mostly occurs with the inbred kind of dogs who were begotten by eugenic means causing serious health problems like breathing, especially pugs and English bulldogs. 

Furthermore, what greater proof is there than the fact that these little inbred monsters are innately sick and incapable of breathing God’s good air due to their inherent health complications?

This is proven by the fact that these mutants spawned from eugenic ideologies that gave us Darwin and Nazis so perhaps our modern perspectives on the practice of eugenics should be applied to that of canines who are living proof of eugenic engineering for the better or worse I might add.

The veterinarian of these hounds becomes the staple of every dog owner's home and relishes the hefty rewards for their services basking in the bounty of bills making these doctors rival the wealth of King Croesus.

I suspect the veterinarian racket could eventually overtake pediatrics given that these dogs get sick more often and have the fortune of their masters willing to pay thousands of dollars every time their mutt swallows a shoelace or vomits its gluttony all over the floor due to intestinal parasites from having gobbled a pile of garbage.

And again, unlike children who get sick, they eventually become healthy contributing members of society or at the very least are fucking humans, whereas the stupid dog only lives a short time anyway.

Further, it never learns not to shove things down its selfish gullet and it only gets worse over time. A dog doesn’t have any long-term regret either hence the repetition of these incidences resulting in the veterinarian’s purchase of a second summer home.

Time and time again I have spoken to many a dog-loving dope who laments the most recent misfortune little Rex has suffered and the atrocious cost given to remedy this “tragedy.” In some cases, the veterinarian bills are in the tens of thousands and when I reproach the insanity of these owners they merely shrug their soldiers with anxiety etched into their brows, “Yeah, but I love him so it’s worth it.” 

Nevertheless, you can see the irrepressible surge of logic as this eruption of reason attempts to override their irrationality by reminding the dog owners that their mortgage or children could have used that ten grand more than the selfish stinky beast that just swallowed your wife's pearls.

I cannot find words to describe the utter indignity and vacuousness of character that would contrive to indulge these short-lived burdensome monsters with that kind of money and attention. 

Alas, a society that values its pets over its priorities reveals that these truly are the end of days…

Ugliness and physical features

Without question, these ugly demons remind me of the mythical monsters from the works of Homer such as his infamous three-headed hound Cerberus guarding the doors of hell in Hades.

This demon dog of Satan serves as the archetypal mould of all jagged-toothed, bloodthirsty gleaning-eyed, malicious servants of the devil. How fitting it is that the greatest poet who ever lived composed the mythological epic of the ancient Greek world by including a dog as Hade's faithful guardian of the dead (three-headed though he be) devouring the souls of men.

With their disgusting tongues plunged out of their mouths and the foul stench that emanates from their breath a dog's face is arrestingly ugly. Sometimes they have bloodshot red incest eyes (mostly pit bulls which will be addressed shortly) and have a jeering hyena-like smirk in the case of rottweilers or Doberman pincers. 

In other cases, they are these cowardly, shaking, toothpick-legged pieces of shit with beady bulbous eyes. The small ones are like rats except that at least rats tend to conceal their hideousness by burrowing in dumpsters in contrast to their rodent-like brethren dogs such as Yorkshire Terriers, Pomeranians, Bichon Frisé, Chihuahuas and of course, the Shih Tzu.

And if they are not small and ugly then they are large, heavy, fat and furry such as St, Bernards, German Sheppards or Great Danes. These dogs leave you nice steaming logs of shit to clean up that after which rivals the girthy disgust of feces.

Not only that but large dogs shed as though it were the season of fall in one's living room, but instead of being delighted with the scent and touch of sappy maple foliage, we are left with the indelible stench of wet rag, ballsack and bad breath.

Some dogs like pit bulls and others are so nasty in their touch that when caressed one is engrossed by this stinky, moist and skin-deep disgusting body texture these dogs give off. It is an unmistakable sensation on the hand of having touched something distinctly animal and gross and the experience leaves one with the feeling of something rancid and vile on their hands almost like groping a pig.

And if they don’t have the swine-like fur and flesh of pit bulls and bulldogs then they are fury hair-shedding walking carpets leaving in their wake cascading clumps of dirty fur as they wag their way about. The fur pollinates a room causing one's clothes to not only reek of dog stink (we can all smell it, trust me) but also doses them in hairs that soils one’s attire and gives off the impression of homelessness and vagrancy.

In addition, a dog will have scattered about its layer an assortment of half-chewed, slimy slobber encrusted toys, shredded ropes or ripped-up pillows which like a rat or pig it shamelessly wallows in.

Anytime you touch one of the toys or puked-up socks it drenches the hand in dirt and filth from the dog's dried or still fresh drool. Nevertheless, a dog will always be surrounded by the effects of its destructive, disgusting or dumb behaviour which is an extension of its nature manifested in the form of an atmosphere of unruliness that surrounds the animal.

No matter what kind of dog it is all canines have ugly features that despite their well-bred varieties display the same vulgarities. One most prominent being their blackened spotted gums, sharp vengeful teeth and drooping slimy tongues.

Dog mouths are by far the most repulsive aspect of their appearance and it is a shared feature among all of them. Not only do these mouths contain flesh devouring teeth inherited from their wolf ancestors but they also stink and are usually infected with various parasites. All the more reason to give them precious little kisses and have these demons lick your face.

Some dogs have scrunched-up slimy noses that are constantly wet. Every time the dog presses up against you this wet, snotty dripping snout of theirs leaves residue on your hands and arms blessing you with its grossness. The noses and mouths are sometimes squished into their flat, stout faces or like the German Sheppards have a little bit more dignity but are still wet and dirty from testicle licking and other disgusting habits. 

None though are worse than the devilish Shih-Tzu. What an ugly awful, shitty stupid dog which is sometimes dolled up with boy ties on its matted unwashed hair masquerading as fur. This is accompanied by a Germanic Viking-looking Vercingetorix mustache and an underbite of gritting teeth that this little vermin relishes displaying in its smugness and stupidity.

Although, I must admit my hatred for their appearance is subjective and therefore I must relent that even a naked mole rat has fans out there. It follows that if such a slovenly rodent can be called cute why not a Shih-Tzu?

After all, there is no such thing as beauty or a gradation of sublimity so why not categorize everything as relative and as they say “in the eye of the beholder,” just like our friendly naked mole rat? Isn’t he a beauty?

That’s all I have to say on this matter.

Dog lovers are Nazis!!! (according to today's standard interpretation of logic)

If I might be allowed some leeway for a moment, to follow the logic of Leftists I will evince an argument easy enough for them to follow. I intend to make it abundantly clear and undeniable that as a dog owner or lover, you are an evil unforgivable Nazi. Using Aristotle's syllogism and the deductive method of logic the argument is as such: 

Major Premise: Hitler loved dogs

Minor Premise: Everything Hitler loves must be evil

Conclusion: Dog lovers, therefore, support Hitler and are evil Nazis

Sounds reasonable doesn’t it?

There you have it folks, dog lovers are Nazis. With sound logic like this, what more can I say on the subject of why dogs are terrible and their owners even worse? Sadly however not all of us are as smarmy and astute enough to follow this kind of “logic” and require further illustrations to get it through our thick heads just how awful these creatures are. And with that said, let us proceed with the next category.

Dog Walking and Dog Parks

Nothing is better than having to wake up at 7:00 am having little time to prepare yourself for the arduous trek to work as you drudge yourself out of bed in a panic because the dog just puked on the floor leaving your blouse sullied.

The animal owner then performs their central duty which is to walk the ingrate because otherwise it will shit and piss on the floor (again likely). With sleep still caked all over one’s face the dog owner rushes to quell the barking and accepts being late because Spot needs his pee-pee and poo-poo time.

Despite this, these owners still give their precious mutt a little treat because there is no other way to stop the dog from barking and so onward you charge chasing the animal around trying to get it on a leash before you have even made coffee or dried the puke stains off the floor.

What makes this struggle worse sometimes is that despite the fact that the dog summoned you from slumber it now wants to play stupid games which is another testament to the dumbness of dogs.

Then, as the owner steps outside they encounter a whole host and gaggle of fellow victims enslaved to their animals who can be seen morosely milling about around a dirty, destroyed lawn or park that once hosted luscious green grass and maybe even an area for children to play.

These parks started as beautiful and well-maintained but due to constant running, rolling, stamping and ripping apart of the fields the dogs destroy all that is serene and meant to be enjoyed by humans. Instead leaving in their wake a forlorn field occupied by a host of enslaved caretakers for these beasts meandering about like dregs and lost souls lingering as the half-living apparitions of their former free and independent selves.

With the decline in birthrates in the Western world, there is no end to new dog parks though. Where once playground swings swirled galore and children frolicked, or fortified castles in their sandboxes, alas now it is no more… for these playgrounds are from a bygone era and have become the graveyard of our future generation's gaiety, replaced instead by a dirty dungheap for our dogs to defecate, ruin and wallow on…

The dog park is the central nexus and Mecca for the canine congregation, even at this ungodly time in the morning to be gathering. And there can be seen all the mandatory exchanges and false courtesies incumbent upon dog owners as they wait for their darling little animals to bend over and pinch their sphincters, squeezing a liquidity orange flow of runny shit that smells of death. 

Then like a true servant the “master” takes out a plastic little bag and with their hand wraps their palm and fingers around the warm oozing shit while pretending not to notice how fucking repugnant, repulsive, demeaning and tortuous the task is. But worry not, this is what the dog park is for.

The park serves as the hallowed ground of shared humiliation where all may partake in the disgusting joy of grasping shit and carrying it around in their hands in front of each other, and sometimes for several minutes before they find the right garbage can dictated by their leftist elected governments for them to deposit it in. Lest we forget the environment when fondling dog diarrhea in our hands.

For dog haters such as myself, there is no greater satisfaction than the schadenfreude of watching attractive young women with their Gucchi handbags, hideously overpriced sunglasses and lovely dresses as they slump over to collect a lumpy pile of reeking excrement off the sidewalk on a hot summer day. Only to put this warm, sometimes girthy turd into their little plastic baggies as they shamefully avert eye contact. 

Their faces in the crime betray their “love” for the hound with a look of utmost embarrassment and near vomiting. Nothing and I mean nothing is more unattractive for a woman to be seen doing than picking up and carrying dog shit and I love watching every moment of it, especially the pretty “cultured” ones.

Then after the shit and piss are taken care of the dog owners are dragged around every which way by their animals as they sniff and chase their wild fancies. The dog constantly pulls, stops or wraps its leash around the owner's legs as they attempt to move at a decent pace.

This is because dogs are stupid impatient creatures and are incapable of acknowledging beauty, holding conversations or doing anything that isn’t servicing their immediate desires. Therefore any walk with a dog will lack the benefit of going for a walk with a person you love.

In these situations, if one has the misfortune of being with someone walking their dog it is impossible to enjoy a park, acknowledge beauty or have a flowing discussion without constant interruptions by their mutt who the owner is forced to command or shout at and at the very least pardon themselves from the conversation. 

Often the dog is used as a pretext to go outside and so the owner justifies their exposure to nature not by running through it or camping but instead by having a 5-minute justle of exposure in the service of their animal's walking or bowel needs. After which they call it a day and feel glad they got some sunlight.

Dogs that jump on runners

On the topic of nature, being outside and specifically running there is NOTHING more annoying and worse than these dumb fucking brutes assailing you as you jog through the park or forest.

One of the greatest joys in life is the athletic practice of running, especially outside in a bucolic oasis of forestry, flowers, plants and trees as one imbibes the fresh air, sunlight and glory of spring, summer, fall and even winter. 

In most cities and especially in the country hiking and running trails abound and offer the community a place to go for runs but as a result of this open market, all the dog owners ruin and invade bringing their monsters with them as well as committing the crime (it's a criminal offence) of letting their stupid animals off their leashes to go wallow in some swampy creek or roll around in mud and shit somewhere and then jump on you.

With that said, as these dogs take full reign of the terrain, runners such as myself who are travelling at great speeds (Pheidippides got nothin’ on me) spot these dogs at a distance and will then have to prepare for their charge as they dash after me. I nearly trip or crash as they dash toward me resulting in me having to stop my music, dodge, jump or outright stop and hide behind a bush or tree.

These stupid animals with no regard for their safety or my personal space will think it a game and will come barreling in after me with their muddy paws and wet-soaked fur ready to pounce and jump all over me interrupting my run and leaving their disgusting scent, slobber or dirt on me.

Worse still is not the fact that the insolent creature is simply annoying and disrupting my run by forcing me to stop but rather, its that if I continue without taking heed then I threaten to kick the beast and am liable to hurt the animal which then creates a whole other issue (sometimes legal). If that is the case now I have the owner chasing after me yelling and screaming and charging me for abusing their dog which they ILLEGALLY let loose on me! 

The dog owners nearly always say as the dog jumps all over me and stops me from my run, “Oh don’t worry he’s just being friendly.” 

“No, he is not, he is being stupid and annoying and deserves to get kicked in the head had I my way…” I mutter to myself as I run away (don’t worry I am not advocating hurting dogs!).

Dog violence

Dogs having derived from the parent species of wolves are by nature aggressive, violent and barbaric creatures albeit bred to be more docile. The domestication of dogs occurred as a result of the more parasitic and leeching wolves that relented to being conditioned into servitude but they nevertheless possess that innate predatory character, especially in dogs less rugged and “masculine” as say a Shih-Tzu.

Therefore, from an evolutionary point of view, the wolves that survived and were taken in by early cave dwellers were the least independent, self-sufficient and dignified and instead were the sycophantic, desperate and weaker ones that adapted themselves to humans eventually becoming domesticated as dogs. The dog as a species is the emasculated, and dejected scoundrel of the wolf pack willing to function as a parasite in sharp contradistinction from its more dignified breed.

However, as I mentioned, not all dogs have lost their venom and violent traits. One example, in particular, is the dreadful Pit Bull breed which is reared in blood-soaked battle arenas where they are trained to maul necks, gorge flesh and ravage other dogs most savagely. These dogs are sometimes inbred to retain the aggressive stock and pass on their traits to the next generation of demon dogs.

Pit Bulls are innately violent and often pose a threat to small children tending to rip their faces off because the poor kid dared to pet them. These vile hounds have fleshy fur that leaves a moist residue of body secretions on one's hands and their eyes are sometimes bloodshot red with pale white fur resembling an incest begotten coat of honour. 

No other dog is as violent and ugly as the pit bull which is why it is a fan favourite of yo-buds (white trash urban hicks pretending to be gangsters) as well as actual gang members, but also the diehard “dog rescuer” type. Below is an image of a Yo-bud I personally had the displeasure of knowing from the neighbourhood.

Sometimes you will often see a tattoo portrait done with a coat hanger on some hick gangster yo-bud’s arm with a little R.I.P tag underneath. It only makes sense that a lowly drug-dealing criminal would regard the Pit Bull as his spirit animal. These yo-buds also take great pride in “mah Pitties yo!” and employ them in their entourage sort of like a regal insignia or coat of impoverished arms with all the clout and pomp one would expect to find in the deplorable netherworld of dog mania.

As an aside, the “dog rescuer” is the type of person (usually a liberal woman) who adopts these mangy mutts from some dungeon before their date of deserved execution. These vicious little devils are the highly antisocial type that never stops barking and loathe human contact.

They had been neglected likely because of their sociopathic nature but rest assured that is all the more reason to be saved by the elite members of the dog-owning apparatus. Like all hierarchies of virtue-signalling dog rescuing is no different. 

In some sense, it’s related to animal rights activism but has branched off and become yet another leftist category of its right (although it must be noted that it is not always liberal). Dog worship is generally ubiquitous and even more insulting and pathetic is observing respectable “macho” men partake in this culture of ill-repute. At least with women, there is some leeway for their partiality to small cute things, men however should be better than that.

Dog rescuers take a keen interest in protecting, sheltering and promoting the interests of dogs like Pit Bulls (or in yo-bud parlance “Pitties yo!”) even after they have been banned by cities for murdering children. But as we have gone through repeatedly, humans are bad and dogs are good so who cares about the children right?

Nevertheless, like climate change (which used to be called global warming until the summers started getting colder) diversity, veganism, and equity dog rescuers secure themselves a role in this fraudulent brigade of social justice crusaders who uphold that which is awful and wrong to prove to you that they are better by inverting values and sacrificing themselves on the alter of false virtue. 

However, I digress, back to our beloved Pit Bulls, as mentioned these dogs are a fan favourite of the dog rescuers who will fight tooth and nail to defend the dogs from rightfully being banished from society. I recall in my youth in Toronto after a series of deadly attacks against children where the demon dog defenders succeeded in pushing back against legislation banning Pit Bulls, they were eventually outlawed.

The CBC included two such instances which simultaneously occurred as these issues were being debated in Toronto 2003-5. The irony was that after several previous attacks and repeated assaults, the issue of banning Pit Bulls came up again and right as it was being debated another child was attacked and maimed. Oops!

For example, on March 1, 2005. CBC reported two such prior examples with these gentle headlines: 

FROM DEC. 28, 2004: Dogs attack and kill 3-year-old B.C. boy

FROM NOV. 4, 2003: Dogs that mauled boy was 'gentle,' owner tells inquiry 

The attorney general was even quoted as saying, "Mark my words, Ontario will be safer,’ Attorney General Michael Bryant, who brought forward the bill, said after it passed.”

With that said, if you don’t mind your children’s faces being torn to sheds as the savage beasts kill and maim anyone who dares pet them then get a Pit Bull. I hear they are a great companion to have around, especially with unsupervised children. Because you know, what’s the life of a child compared to a revolting hellhound bred in a violent pit to chew the necks of its adversaries?

Nature vs nurture what can I say… oh wait, nature has come out strong again, shit. Censor, delete, misinformation, disinformation, fake news!

Worry not though these dog rescuers are still fighting to this day to overturn the bans, even though as the CBC has noted, “Similar measures are already in place in Britain, France and Germany. Winnipeg has had such a ban in place for 14 years, and the last pit bull known to be living in the Manitoba capital died in 2004.”

Conclusion

I hope in the course of this exhortation of hate against dogs I have justified my loathing and disdain towards these wretched beasts. I anticipate many do not share my views and object quite staunchly to my diatribe of contempt which is fine given that this is merely my opinion and indication of preference.

Though, given the charge that my reasons are baseless, or that there must be something wrong with me to hate dogs as much as I do then I hope this article has clarified my reasons why. I reject the charge that there are no objectively reprehensible traits of dogs which I have outlined repeatedly and clearly and I challenge anyone to dispute them.

As a reminder, those irrefutably bad reasons are as follows:

Picking up shit, paying veterinarian bills, or cleaning up after the disaster they leave in their wake, dealing with barking and noise, not being able to go on vacation or stay out late and visit friends before taking care of the dog etc.

You get the idea, and if you don’t get it yet take another gander at my 10,000 words to refresh your memory which is not nearly enough words to exhaust my volcanic antipathy, enmity, animosity and abhorrence for these loathsome, contemptuous and repugnant creatures.

I wish there was a bone large and plentiful enough to choke every mutt that ever barked its way into this world, alas, one can only dream of such things…

If you like my work check out my novel The Sanguinaires or What I Hate Most About Everything available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Chapters/Indigo.